Group Communication

Skills that I can offer my group:

Organizational- I am very organized and always plan things out

Implementer-   I can listen to ideas and then come up with a plan to get things done

Research- I can help find the information we need

Dependable- I will get the things that are asked of me done and on time

My Proposed Code of Conduct:

Everyone will complete their portion of the assignment with a reasonable amount of time. If anyone finds they are struggling or don’t understand any portion of the expectations they will ask for help before the deadline approaches.

My Conflict Ratings:

Accommodate

Compromise

Collaborate

Avoidance

Competition  

Conflict

Often times I find myself censoring my feelings/issues with my sister. My sister is six years younger than I, and lives the freedom of a typical 23 year old. She’s got a great job as a registered nurse, and I believe that is admirable for her age. We are rather different, and I believe that is part of the reason why we have conflict. I had to mature when I was 16 and had a child on the way, she doesn’t need to grow up so fast like I did. In the end she doesn’t see the world as I do, she is a perceiver and I am a judger. We are both very strong willed and not afraid to say what’s on our minds. When our opinions are different during most of our conversations, I often feel that I am the one who avoids continuing the conflict. I will show avoidance by leaving the situation or just letting her have the last word. I stop the conflict because in the end it’s not worth loosing family. We spend 1-2 weekends a month at my parent’s house because of our distance from them. My sister lives next door to my parents, so I have learned when it’s time to walk away because it’s not worth the stress it causes on my parents.

This summer we did get into a rather big argument because her look on life was just getting to be too much for me personally. I could only handle so much and when she got mad at me because I stopped to get myself dinner because it was 7:30 at night. (she was mad because she was making food that I didn’t know about) After the argument ensued, we both left my parent’s house. It was a month before I talked to her, and of course my Mother being rather upset because of it. It ended in me apologizing, and her in turn doing the same. I am still learning how to remind myself that her views are a lot different than mine. Hopefully, over time we can both learn to be better communicators and have constructive conflicts. 

Nonverbal communication

My ratings showed that we use more nonverbal communication. (16 vs. 9) Having the results show that we use nonverbal communication more than verbal communication tells me that we rely on the visual parts of our conversation to put meaning and thought to what is being said to us.

           

           Some examples of how I use nonverbal behaviors would be around my kids are when I use my pitch and volume to stress a point to my children. I use hand gestures, especially when I raise my volume and lower my pitch to show my frustration. I use my physical appearance at my job by wearing scrubs to show that I know how to do my job and be professional. Eye contact at my job is of high importance to my clients and I. Eye contact shows my clients that I am listening and being attentive to their needs.

            I think that learning what the negative nonverbal behaviors are would be a great way to improve communication. I know that personally, I am an arm crosser. I fight with myself to not cross my arms because it comes across as being unapproachable. If we know what negative nonverbal behaviors are then we can use positive nonverbal behaviors for expressing our thoughts. Learning the correct behaviors will help us become more confident and successful. 

Verbal Communication

One interesting thing that I read about in our reading was chapter five, section three. (page 88) In this chapter it talks about all the different languages that are spoken all over the world. What really interested me is how even though the majority of us speak English in America, we don’t use the same vocabulary throughout the United States. I know that when we are visiting family in Georgia, we can sometimes get stuck mentally for a moment because they will use a different word at times then what we use.

Another topic that “piggy backs” off of this section (5.5, page 91) in our book was the video that we watched on “Code Switching.” In this video they talked about how most everyone uses code switching to some extent.  I found this video rather interesting because I thought it was thoughtful that the school district was trying to be accommodating to the African American population. After I got thinking about it though, it may not be fair to anyone that comes from a multi-cultural background. However, maybe that is how we evolved to have different languages throughout the world.

Another section of the chapter that interested me was chapter five, section seven. (page 96-97) In the activity that reinforced active versus passive speaking, it got me thinking if I talk actively or passively. I most certainly talk actively, I am very direct and to the point. My husband however uses a little of both. I often tell him that he is “beating around the bush” or “to get to the point.” I think he does this because he often works with angry customers and can’t be as direct because otherwise it makes things worse.

 ~Listening~

I believe that Julian Treasure’s main message was that we aren’t listening anymore. That listening is key to our lives, success, and to live in harmony with one another. I agree with Julian and find his message to be true. We are living in a crazy world and to really understand what is going on we have to listen to be fully aware. If you’re not understanding what is being said while minimizing distractions how can we effectively communicate?

            The exercise that I used from Julian’s message is the “Mixer.” This is where Julian wants you to see how many different channels of sound one can hear no matter where they are. It forces my brain to stop thinking of all the things that I need to get done in the day. I believe it probably enforces listening to understand and hear. I did this example outside and heard dogs barking, kids laughing, cars driving by, and little critters running around the yard. I found being outside and listening to the individual noises refreshing. I think it reminded me that there is so much going on around you, that we may miss it if aren’t listening. After the exercise I find myself taking mini breaks to just listen to what’s going on around me. I think this exercise could help me to be aware and not use poor listening habits such as pseudolistening.

Self-Concept

Who Am I?

5 Things about myself that I do best:

1)      I’m independent

2)      Take care of my family

3)      Able to overcome challenges

4)      Fast learner

5)      I’m compassionate

One of the things that I think I do the best is being independent. I believe that it relates everything together. An example is that I am able to overcome challenges because I can think for myself and I don't need others to tell me what to do.

5 Things that I believe in:

1)      Being truthful

2)      Helping others

3)      Hard work

4)      Taking risks to get reward

5)      God

I am a big believer in always help others. I believe that you should help others and not expect anything in return. This is something we try to instill in our children. I believe it teaches responsibility and how to be humble. We often go back to my hometown where my Mom sells her vegetables at the local farm market. Often elderly folks will buy something and my Mom will send my children to help carry their items back to their car. A lot of times the older folks will pay my children. While I understand they are just trying to be nice, I think this is teaching the kids that there should be a reward for just helping someone out.

One other thing that I would add to my self-concept picture would be that I am a high self-monitor. (I never knew what that there was an actual name for this until reading the chapter) When people first meet me they tell me that I come off as being quiet and shy when in fact it is the opposite. It’s only in the past few years that I’ve figured out it’s because I am busy observing others, and what they are doing. I try to figure out other people, before I let other individuals figure me out. 

Creditable Source Assignment

     Finding information is always challenging, especially if you don’t know if the information is creditable. My union movement leader is Albert Shanker.

     I thought that it would be best to start with finding information that directly came directly from Mr. Shanker. I feel that finding articles or speeches written by him would give me the most accurate and true information. I found a speech that he gave on July 8^th 1993 at the Quest Conference in Washington DC.  Although the speech is more recent, and only four years before Mr. Shanker’s death I think that his opinion at the end of his career is important.